For as long as I can remember, I have been my own worst critic. I am sure you can relate…
Before falling pregnant, I did a lot of work around softening into the places where I was most critical of myself. This looked like replacing judgement with curiosity and self-doubt with trust, among other things I won’t get into today. The journey to become pregnant was filled with so many lessons, and it taught me to trust myself even when my inner knowing and visions hadn’t yet met reality. It continued to ask me to trust when self-doubt flooded my being. And eventually, my intuition and knowing became stronger than my doubt, and I fell pregnant. This, along with a lot of other changes, prepared me and my body for the divine timing of pregnancy.
Pregnancy paved the way for the work I would do when I become a mother. I had created a foundation for myself that would enable me to move the needle, even if just a little bit, when I faced some of the hardest days and nights of my life.
And now, as I reflect on the last 15 months, I can honestly say that I am changed person.
The healing that came forth throughout the last 15 months, and I imagine there is more to come, has given me a gift.
Today, I feel more whole, alive, and freer than I have ever felt. The work that I have done has enabled me to re-parent parts of myself who felt abandoned, alone, and scared as a child. Now, instead of feeling shame or judgement towards myself for feeling anxious or scared, I am able to feel immense appreciation for myself, and every part of me.
The fears and anxiety that arise are not my fault, and my job is not to resist or judge them, but to love and treat them with care and understanding. This is the work.
THE WORK:
It is easy to look at our life when we are facing certain challenges and tell ourselves that this is our reality forever. For example, amid my healing, I had a painful thought that felt super true for me: “This will last forever, and I will never heal.” When I believed this thought I experienced an intense feeling of sadness and fear, which would scare me, but I’ve learned that these feelings of fear and sadness NEED to be felt to be released out of the body.
When we don’t allow ourselves to feel our emotions, as scary as that may be, and unconsciously suppress our feelings or try to think our way out of it, the feelings just build and build. Have you heard of this famous phrase? “What we resist, persists.” This couldn’t be truer. By resisting our emotions, we are silencing a part of ourselves that wants to be heard.
Try this instead:
Show up for the scared parts of yourself in a kind and loving way. By recognizing the fear, allowing yourself to feel it, and then treating yourself with love and kindness, over and over and over again, you will begin to heal this core wound and re-program your brain, which will undoubtedly change you, and for the better.
If you need help with this, watch my free Inner Child Healing exercise.
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