{Intuitive Process} Inner Child Healing
For as long as I can remember, I have been my own worst critic. I am sure you can relate…
Before falling pregnant, I did a lot of work around softening into the places where I was most critical of myself. This looked like replacing judgement with curiosity and self-doubt with trust, among other things I won’t get into today. The journey to become pregnant was filled with so many lessons, and it taught me to trust myself even when my inner knowing and visions hadn’t yet met reality. It continued to ask me to trust when self-doubt flooded my being. And eventually, my intuition and knowing became stronger than my doubt, and I fell pregnant. This, along with a lot of other changes, prepared me and my body for the divine timing of pregnancy.
Pregnancy paved the way for the work I would do when I become a mother. I had created a foundation for myself that would enable me to move the needle, even if just a little bit, when I faced some of the hardest days and nights of my life.
And now, as I reflect on the last 15 months, I can honestly say that I am changed person.
The healing that came forth throughout the last 15 months, and I imagine there is more to come, has given me a gift.
Today, I feel more whole, alive, and freer than I have ever felt. The work that I have done has enabled me to re-parent parts of myself who felt abandoned, alone, and scared as a child. Now, instead of feeling shame or judgement towards myself for feeling anxious or scared, I am able to feel immense appreciation for myself, and every part of me.
The fears and anxiety that arise are not my fault, and my job is not to resist or judge them, but to love and treat them with care and understanding. This is the work.
THE WORK:
It is easy to look at our life when we are facing certain challenges and tell ourselves that this is our reality forever. For example, amid my healing, I had a painful thought that felt super true for me: “This will last forever, and I will never heal.” When I believed this thought I experienced an intense feeling of sadness and fear, which would scare me, but I’ve learned that these feelings of fear and sadness NEED to be felt to be released out of the body. When I don’t allow myself to feel scared and unconsciously suppress the fear and try to think my way out of it, the feelings just build and build, causing an overwhelming waterfall of emotions to release, which does not feel good. By recognizing the fear, allowing myself to feel it, and then treating myself with love and kindness, over and over and over again, I have begun to heal this core wound and re-program my brain, which has undoubtedly changed me, and for the better.
One way this has shown up is in my ability to notice my progress, appreciate it, and recognize how far I have come.
For some people, this feels super vulnerable, because we set such high expectations for ourselves, which is another way of being critical with ourselves. “We should be further along.” Is one way we set high expectations of ourselves.
There is no need to blame ourselves for setting such high expectations. It’s understandable, we want to heal, feel better, get ahead etc., but when the expectations put a certain amount of pressure on ourselves and creates more stress, we know that these expectations are not serving us. We are also raised in a culture that tells us to do more, be more, have more, etc. In this society, nothing is ever enough. But that is no longer a belief we need to live by, because it isn’t true.
So, let’s get back to you and where you are currently in your own life.
Are there any expectations you are putting on yourself that feel heavy and stressful? Do you notice any fears you are currently grappling with?
Get your journal and write down these beliefs or expectations.
We will use these in the exercise I am going to walk you through.
Ready? Let’s go.
Now I am going to walk you through a healing process that will enable you to heal this way of thinking a being.