(How to) Stop Comparing
We all walk very unique paths and no path is similar.
In this day and age, it’s easy to become distracted by other peoples lives and start comparing their path to ours, but we all know where this leads: nowhere good.
In my meditation a few days ago, I had a visualization and it reminded me just how important it is to appreciate and love our own unique life path, no matter where we are on that journey.
So why do we compare?
We start comparing our path to someone else’s because there is a part of us who doesn’t feel good enough. This fear is so engrained in all of us that we don’t realize it’s the root cause of us feeling insecure, anxious, sad, depressed, etc.
So what's the first step?
The next time you find yourself comparing your life to someone else’s and you start to feel off, agitated or less than, take a breathe and pause.
Stop scrolling, texting, or looking at whatever is causing you to feel anxious. Instead, put everything down and take three breathes.
Really do this.
We must pause and connect back to our breathe so to stop the mind from going any further with its mischief.
Remember that you are not the voice telling you all of these horrible things, you are only captivated by its fear and have forgotten who you really are.
You are the one witnessing it’s madness.
Remember what I said in the beginning of this post? When you start comparing your path to someone else’s, it’s because a part of you is feeling scared and vulnerable.
Ease up a bit on yourself and connect to that part of who you is scared and feeling vulnerable.
Lastly, I know this sounds a bit woo woo, but it works.
Name the inner kid who is sad and scared.
Who is that inner girl or boy inside of you who is feeling scared and vulnerable?
How old is she/he?
From connecting to this inner girl inside of me, what I have learned is that this part of you wants to be loved and accepted. She wants to know that you are here, you have her back, and that you aren’t going to leave or abandon her.
This is the work.
The moment you pause, take a breathe, and connect to that inner kid who is feeling sad, scared, and vulnerable, that is when things start to shift and we slowly stop becoming paralyzed by the fear in our minds.
It takes time, but for me, this was the first step towards inner freedom.
Our paths our unique to us.
No one has another life path like ours.
If we are constantly looking towards other peoples paths and focusing our attention on what they are doing or how far along they are, we forget the beauty and magnificence of our own path.
Instead of focusing our attention out there, to what “they” are doing, let’s bring our attention back here.
You have everything you need to succeed where you are today.
Open your heart to all the beauty and blessings that surround you right now.
I always imagine my path as a trail in the woods, and the more I focus on what other people are doing, the less happy and fulfilled I feel. When I come back to my own path, I see how lucky I am. Sure, my path may not look like theirs, but it’s mine and it’s unique to me. The more I appreciate and love where I am, the more fun life becomes and the freer I feel.
It’s easy to compare our lives to those around us, it’s a hell of a lot harder to pause, take a breathe, and appreciate who and where we are today. But I will tell you, when we do, it feels a whole lot better than constantly focusing our attention outside of us.
Be where you are today and let that be enough. Give yourself and this moment some love and appreciation.
Thats it. That’s all.
You don’t need to go climb Mount Everest, just take a moment to be and appreciate all that is, right here and right where you are.
That is the first step that will lead you to where you want to be.