Here is something that you may or may not know about me: I have a tendency to give people the power to influence my mood and state of being. I give my power away to people who don't deserve it. It’s like my self-esteem is dependent on whether or not people like, and yet, when I believe that, I lose a part of myself.
I start to question myself. I doubt myself. And I just become really confused.
A few days ago this become really clear: I give my power to people who don’t deserve it.
Who are they anyway? Why do I let their words affect me as much as I do? And more importantly, why am I surrounding myself with them?
I always thought I was pretty good at sticking up for myself, but for whatever reason, I have kept people in my life because I was afraid of letting them go.
But now, I am realizing that life is short and if people don’t add value to our lives and the relationship seems like more work than not, we probably don’t need them.
That’s another thing I am learning about myself: I don't NEED anyone.
I have had this belief that I need certain people in my life or circumstances to happen in order to feel complete or good about myself, but it's not true.
I don’t need anything or anyone to complete me or make me feel good about myself. And neither do you.
It’s a scary thing to trust ourselves and our own inner voice, when a part of us believes that we need that person or thing to make us feel better. It’s like thinking we need that third glass of wine or chocolate cake to make us feel better, but we all know, in the end, we don’t.
It’s an addiction. A game of sorts...
That’s how we know that we have people in our life that may not be good for us...it feels like an addiction or a game. And the reasons we stay aren’t based in love, but maybe in fear.
So I say to you, don’t settle for something that doesn’t make you feel good about yourself. And don’t stay in something because you’re afraid of missing out or making the wrong decision.
If it doesn’t make you feel alive, excited, happy, eager, loved, and connected, reexamine it for a second and see if there are tweaks that can be made to salvage it.